Break on through

After starting my day with a sudsy, overflowing dishwasher yesterday (seriously, who knew bleach would do that????) we were off to Home Depot to rent a brush hog to attack the monster blackberries and various undergrowth behind our home. I was determined to learn how to use the thing, assuming it couldn't be too hard because it's basically an elongated lawnmower. WRONG! My very patient instructor (the hubby) explained all the basic elements, and watched as I mowed a few swipes through the jungle. I'll admit, it scared me to death! I was so excited to see how quickly it cleaned things up, but the visions of severed limbs dancing through my mind just wouldn't go away. Sooooo, I'm embarrassed to say, I ended up letting him do the bulk of the clearing. I helped clear the stuff that the brush hog couldn't get to. So, maybe "become comfortable with heavy machinery" will not be a change for me. I can at least say that it got me out of my comfort zone!

Lesson Learned

Note to self . . . . . . bleach + dishwasher = BAD!

Arachnophobia

A friend of mine once said to do something every day, no matter how small, that gets you out of your comfort zone.

Today, I staged a battle with the overwhelming population of spiders in my backyard. (Note to bug enthusiasts - stop reading now, this will get ugly). I've never really done yard work, but I'm determined to get my backyard (and that of my neighbor's) cleaned up in time to enjoy the beautiful deck my husband built before this summer is over and the rains start all over again. This might not sound so bad, but you haven't seen these yards! Where I grew up in south Georgia, blackberries grew on the side of the road in small patches. Here in the northwest, they can cover pine trees, bury houses, and small children and family pets have probably disappeared in them never to be seen again. Naturally, they create a sanctuary for all types of bugs and therefore attract (insert scary music) spiders! Tons of them! I can't venture into my backyard without walking into them. AND, did I mention I have an abnormal fear of these eight-legged spawns of satan? I decided to "treat" my yard before trying to clean it up, or it would take more Xanax than my doctor will prescribe to get me back out in that yard.

Sooooo, I found a nifty little bottle of bug killer at my local home improvement store that I just attached to my water hose and fired away. I think I must have angered the spider beasts, because as I finished spraying and turned back around to walk back between the houses toward the faucet, I suddenly faced a maze of spider webs . . . . with spiders on them. What did I do? I beat a hasty retreat, dropped my weapon, ran into the house and appealed to my husband to please go out and turn the water off because the demons were after me. Thankfully, he didn't give me too hard of a time.

The Simple Things

Tonight, I went grocery shopping with my husband and my daughter. In a time of our lives where we are usually running 40 different directions, we are normally too busy to do simple little errands together. Tonight, I savored the walk up and down each and every aisle. Watching my husband select bagels made me inexplicably content. A typically mundane chore was tonight extraordinarily pleasing.

My epiphany

For quite a while in my life now, I've felt topsy-turvy. I've wanted so badly for things to start "falling into place". I've wanted to make a firm decision about a college major with no second thoughts. I've wanted my house to be finished! I've wanted to know, with absolute certainty, where I'll be and what I'll be doing in five years. I've just wanted concrete stability, and the lack of this made me feel like I was in a whirlwind.

Well, I've had an epiphany. In order to have concrete stability and absolute certainty, one must be standing completely still. Who wants that? If I ceased wondering what was coming next, I would be dead. I read a fabulous quote recently, although I can't remember who said it, and it goes like this: He who rejects change is an architect of decay. I'm not quite ready for decay, so I'll embrace my uncertainty with a new vigor. I'll be glad that I have options! Now, I realize that there are benefits to persistence and staying the course, but there is no rule that says I can't change my mind and head a different direction.

So, welcome to my blog! There's no telling what might happen here!