2009: The Year of ?

A new year is upon us, and for me it is a welcome sight. 2008 has not been the greatest year for our family, and I'm not sad to see it go. Don't get me wrong, it had its bright spots, but overall it was an extremely difficult time.
2009 sees me entering a new decade - I will be 30 in a few short weeks. My mother-in-law says these are the years that a woman is most focused on her family, and I can see what she means for the most part. My child needs me to be very present in her life right now. My husband and I are starting to seriously face the questions and reality of our futures, and plan responsibly for them. I have many responsibilities at this point in my life, and they all involve the safety, stability, and happiness of my home.
That said, I am truly hoping that this is the year I learn more about myself. I have found myself lately sitting in various groups of friends, trying to find my "place". I notice that I have felt as if I should apologize or make excuses for things I believe. Not on huge hot topics, just parts of my personality in general that are just ME. I sometimes sit in a group, generally enjoying myself and surrounded by people whose company I truly enjoy, but wondering what it is that I contribute, and if I'm having to suppress any part of myself in order to "fit in". I think it's because I've lost focus of who exactly I am. I am well aware that I have evolved as I've aged and experienced life, but I want to be more in touch with the person I've become . . . or am becoming. I don't know what I'm passionate about any more, and that leaves me feeling a little lost.
So, I'm looking forward to this year being a journey for me, to gain more wisdom about life, others, and myself. Here's to a wonderful 2009.