Motley Crue and other misadventures

The past two weeks have been a crazy whirlwind blur. Last week, it seemed as if every night were a different event. We took Haleigh to see a movie on Monday evening. It was a reward for being so good and helpful that day - which is going to have a blog devoted to it later. Tuesday night, Matt & Haleigh went to a ball game with friends while I shopped. It was NOT fun shopping. It was frantic "what the heck do you wear to a Motley Crue concert that falls somewhere between soccer mom and leather wearing rocker chick" shopping. The fabulous part of that evening for me, though, was a much-needed long chat with my favorite mother-in-law. It was good to hear her voice. I don't even remember what was happening the next two nights, I just know we weren't home much.

Then, Friday night arrived. Months ago, Matt came home and told me he was going to a Motley Crue concert, and he was getting tickets in the pit with a friend from work. I wasn't really interested, and I knew it would be a nightmare trying to find a sitter, so I wasn't upset about not going. I can say, honestly, that I will never be in a pit at a rock concert. Ever. It's just not my thing. Weeks later, he came home and said his friend's wife would like to go and sit in the grass (it's an outdoor amphitheatre), but she needed someone to go with her. And, their daughter would babysit. So, I started to get a little excited about seeing Tommy Lee play the drums live. He's old and nasty, but he is an incredible drummer, and I'm a musician at heart.

Then, the daughter who would be babysitting ended up going to visit family in California, and we were left with no sitter. I had nowhere to turn. Our friends ended up getting a sitter for both of us. THEN, three out of us four wanted to ride the boys' motorcycles to the concert . . . guess who was the one who didn't? So, we took my family car instead. It might be the coolest family car in the world, but it's no bike. It turned out ok, because we would have been freezing and exhausted on bikes, but I still felt a little bad about it.

So, back to the concert. The people-watching was incredible. I never saw so much leather or so much skin. It could have been one big psychology experiment, trying to figure out what kind of mindset is required to go out in public that way. The show itself was much better than I expected, even with all the colorful language. What I could NOT get past was the 4 giant screens flanking the stage with, um, "adult entertainment" playing throughout the show, mixed in with disturbing religious images and insulting portrayals of our president. I stayed focused on the stage. But were the hoardes of children around me able to do that? That's right, people brought their CHILDREN to this show, which was clearly advertised 18 and over. As if the volume would not be enough to convince you to leave their little eardrums at home . . . we're talking about Motley Crue here! It's not a family-friendly show! I blame the idiot parents and their stupidity, but I think the venue had some responsibility there, too. Those morons should have been turned away at the gate. And it was not just a few children . . . they were everywhere I looked.

Now that I'm off my soapbox, I can say this. I have survived a Motley Crue concert. They are much better live than I ever expected. In fact, I quite enjoyed the actual show. I've always been a big fan of the hair bands, and their musicianship is pretty incredible. I also, after observing that giant gathering of people, feel pretty great about the person that I am. :-) I think I came away from the event having learned a little more about myself, and a little more about the world!

On a side note, I also learned that Nikki Six has apparently been embalmed. He looks like he just walked right out of the 80's. It's spooky. It's like they sucked the life right out of Mick Mars and gave it to Nikki.

I'm baaaaaaack

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose gaden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today. - Andrew Carnegie

Folks, I've been busy smelling the roses. I'll be blogging about many of my experiences soon. I just didn't want anyone to think I disappeared. :-)

At the last minute . . .

Today is my brother's birthday. He is my only sibling, seven years older than me. He lives in Florida, where he is finishing up his last few years in the Air Force before retirement. He and his family just bought and moved into their very first home. They've rented or lived in military housing for 16 years, and he is so proud to have one now that belongs to him. He and his wife have four children - all boys, ages 16, 14, 8, and 6 - and I adore every single one of them. My brother is a good man, and I hope he had a birthday just as wonderful as him.

A ray of sunshine

I'm definitely climbing out of my funk, and I truly appreciate all the sweet comments from you guys. I tell ya, the group of women that have rallied together here in blogger world ought to start a support group or write a book! It has been amazing and inspiring to see the support that has poured forth for some of the trials and tribulations that have been experienced by so many of us. And, even when we're just having a bad day, maybe for no real reason at all, there you are again with your kindness! This is just my little note of appreciation. :-)

The Spiral

I'm just traveling along in life, enjoying the sunshine and happiness around me, when suddenly WHAM. I find myself becoming quickly overwhelmed by every little thing around me. Every problem seems just to go just beyond the point that I can just handle it and move on. My actual issues become seemingly insurmountable. One thought piles on top of another until I feel buried beneath them, struggling for air, a kind word, a hug. No, not a hug. I would rather wallow in it, even while knowing I shouldn't. And it's not something I can just snap out of. A hug would feel false. The timing would be all wrong.

I don't understand why this spiral happens to me. I am an incredibly capable, strong, intelligent, and talented person who sometimes can't deal with dirty dishes and a cranky seven year old. The thought of taking the dogs out makes me want to cry. The towels that need to be folded are causing my breathing to get shallow. And these are just the things I can see in the space immediately surrounding me. If I were to even attempt to explain the things happening in my brain, it would be the longest rambling run-on sentence in the world, and you would probably want to have me committed.

I know I'll snap out of it. Sometimes just being aware that it's happening is enough. Sometimes, something very sweet and kind happens to me that brings me back up into the light. Every time, I stop and think about the things I can control, and the blessings that I have. It doesn't always stop the tight feeling in my chest, but it helps my perspective.

Getting out of your comfort zone

A friend once told me that you should do something every day to get out of your "comfort zone". That friend is about to have her first child any day now, so boy will she be taking her own advice soon! :-)

I think that it is easy for any of us to get wrapped up in a zone where everything is familiar. We socialize with the same people, work with the same people at the same place daily, shop at the same places, and entertain ourselves in the same old ways. There's nothing that makes this entirely wrong, since we are creatures of habit and these routines bring us security. However, if we don't break out of these routines every now and then, we miss out on opportunities to learn, grow, be enriched, and just have fun.

In the past week, I am proud to say I did two things that were out of my comfort zone! Last weekend, I went to a Demolition Derby! The friends that invited us could not believe that, being from the south, we had never been to one of these. I'm still processing what all that was implying, LOL. Anyway, I went, having no idea what to expect except a lot of noise and cars crashing into one another. I could not believe how much fun I had! It was so entertaining that I would probably go to another one!

The second thing required much more discomfort on my part. I was recruited to play in a softball game with the police department. The city organized a little "tournament" with various departments. Public Works had 2 teams, there was a Parks & Recreation team, and then us. There had to be 3 girls on each team, and you needed 10 people to play. A friend of mine was playing as well, and that helped. She has never been a ball player, either. :-) I played when I was very young, but I was never really any good.

Early in the game, they stuck me out in right field, and our opponents figured out I was the weak link and hit balls straight to me, which I of course didn't stop very well. The first one stressed me out a little, then I remembered I was supposed to be having fun. When it was our turn at bat, I actually hit the ball! I never struck out, and I made it on base several times. I almost scored once or twice, and I batted one of our runs in, so I contributed! My friend was actually the first person on our team to get on base! It was girl power all the way. We lost, but I had a GREAT time, and I got a GREAT workout. Bonus! Best of all, I felt really good about myself for getting out there and trying.

Not always the obvious answer

Well, naturally, the first reaction to my dream is that it must mean I want another baby, LOL. :-)
But, here's the thing. I truly do not want to have another baby right this second. I will be 30 in about 6 months, so I still have time to change my mind. But, my daughter will be 8 years old at the end of this year, and that's enough to give me pause. I can't imagine starting all over. You know how some people just obsess over tiny little newborns? Well, naturally we loved our kid and thought she was the most beautiful, most special, most intelligent, most adorable, etc. And she was an ANGEL of a baby. But, we were the parents who always wanted her to hurry up and do something. I was so excited when she started staying awake more, playing with things, communicating with us. As she evolved into her own little person, she just became immensely more interesting! As she's gotten more and more independent (seriously, I could practically let her move out on her own right now), I have embraced it! When I think of middle of the night feedings (shudder), packing giant diaper bags (shudder), and potty training (shudder), I think that maybe one is just enough. And, on those rare occasions where I've thought maybe I would like to have another, Matt shuts me down and suggests getting another puppy. They're practically like newborns anyway, LOL.
There is a part of me that wants for Haleigh to have a sibling. At this point, who knows how close they would ever be, though? And, truth be told . . . I don't really want to give birth again. Oh, I'm not scared of it. I enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy, and I handled the delivery like a champ. I'm pretty sure I shocked everyone in my family, most especially myself, with just how well I brought that kid into the world. Just ask my mother-in-law, she was there for the entire thing! It was the period after the fact that I wasn't too thrilled with. That easy-as-pie pregnancy and textbook delivery were apparently just setting me up for a hell of a recovery. I'd like to avoid that whole experience, really. Before you ask . . . I am an exuberant supporter of adoption, so perhaps that is something to be explored at a later time.
Now, back to my dream. Don't you think it's possible that it's not literally about a baby? I think that's why it's nagging at me. I feel like I'm on the verge of something, and I wonder if this dream was my subconscious letting me know that. Maybe I'll never know . . .