It's a hit

I took the opportunity in the beautiful 69 degree weather this afternoon to stroll through some downtown shops on the waterfront. I found this little green treasure with the help of some friends at a quaint little antique store. It's jade! He has a few tiny little knicks that don't take away from the overall charm, so he was discounted into a price range I could appreciate. I brought him home to one happy little seven-year-old girl who loves elephants and green.

Memories . . .

I do miss this, just a little. This was the sign in front of the theatre every night of my performances. I'm hoping to get reacquainted with it in the fall. I'll keep you posted.

a little bonus

I love Bernadette Peters. She has a magical ability to morph into any character flawlessly, and she brings gut-wrenching emotion to any song she sings on any stage. I was surfing youtube for a theatre fix, because . . . well, because I like theatre. And I miss it right now. I got a little spoiled with my last show. :-) Anyway, I always look for clips of Ms. Peters, and I've posted my personal favorite down at the bottom of my blog. Amazingly, it's not from Annie Get Your Gun. The context of the song in its actual show is a lover singing of the one she has bitterly lost but can't seem to get away from. However, the first time I heard it, I thought it captured one of the facets of loss for anyone, the early days of grief . . . "Not a Day Goes By" that the person isn't part of your life. You wait for the day you'll start forgetting, but you don't. For a time, you feel like you are dying yourself, over and over every day. Eventually, it's not as angry and painful, and then you move on to another song . . .
I hope you like it. If you're a theatre person, you'll love it. If you're not, I think there is a good chance you'll still love it. :-)

A Pleasant Surprise

This morning I walked outside to put the garbage out and I noticed a new flower in my little garden. It is a tiny little white thing, barely noticeable, but it is a promise of things to come. I almost gave up on this jasmine plant when I cleaned this flower bed out several months ago. It was one puny little brown twig that made a half-hearted "y" shape at the top, and it had maybe 4 or 5 crispy leaves on it. It looked dead! However, when I scraped a little piece with my fingernail, I saw a speck of green. So, I left it to see what would happen.

In the past few weeks, it has grown like crazy! It is starting to climb the little trellis I'm attempting to train it on, and its leaves have filled in beautifully. Today it has finally opened one of its little buds to say hello, and I can't wait for the rest of them to join it. It's going to be a heavenly smell by my front door!

New shoes

It occurred to me that my posts are becoming a journal of my daily activities with my only child. Well, that's just my life these days. :-) I also think I have a need, on a subconscious level, to keep my mom-in-law updated on our day to day activities so that she just eases right into things when she arrives. It will be as if she were never away.

That said, here was our plan for the day today: shopping. It is the final week of Bath and Body Works semi-annual summer sale, and I wanted those smelly-good things that plug into the wall. I wouldn't be caught dead paying full price, so I stocked up. I'm currently enjoying one of my most favorite summer scents - honeysuckle. Haleigh also got shimmery green peppermint lip gloss. What can I say, it was essential! Her other essential acquisition was this pair of shoes. She calls them her "bling bling crocs" and she hasn't taken them off yet. Note: This blogger is not responsible for the dirty socks in the above picture.

Is it really stealing

if you know they won't mind? I have a new look for my blog. It needed a little updating, and I shamelessly stole a picture from my mother-in-law's blog. :-) It is of some of the daylilies in my grandmother-in-law's yard, which I happen to love. I changed the colors around a little to complement the picture, and I started having a "deja vu" feeling, as if I had seen these colors before and there was nostalgia there!

After a few minutes of staring at the page, it finally came to me . . . my first bikini! It was a very modest thing (as was I), and it was color-blocked with the green and purple from my page. I LOVED that swimsuit, because it made me feel sooooo grown-up. It marked the first time that I was allowed to get a two-piece and I was so proud!

Now that I have a daughter of my own (who is 7, going on 16) I am trying very hard to remember my perceptions of things as a child. I forget sometimes how much I wanted to grow up! I thought that if I could just become an adult I could do whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it! If only it were that easy, right? I understand now why my mom always said "oh, Amy, enjoy being a kid! You'll grow up before you know it and you'll miss this freedom!" Freedom! That's exactly what I thought I lacked!

That bikini was important to me. It was a symbolic thing that I thought would bring me closer to being "grown up". My mama recognized that, and helped me select something that was still age-appropriate but helped me fulfill that need. For my little girl, it's things like being allowed occasionally to wear a little lip gloss or the "dangly" earrings out of the house that help her assert some independence and feel grown up while remaining a child.

I remember being on the other side of this battle, so I know it will feel eternal as my child longs to grow up and I long for her to stay young and innocent and care-free. I hope I can find the wisdom my mama had!

How cute!

Here's the original June 5, 1950 advertisement in Life magazine for Esquire Lanol White Shoe Polish! It's even safer for babies!!!! Now my story is changing. Maybe my bottle belonged to a new mom who kept her baby's first shoes spotless as he or she toddled around my backyard!

Backyard Treasures

I was in the backyard again, pulling more weeds, when I heard a rustling in the bushes nearby. I assumed it was the neighbor's cat, but I saw a tiny little masked face peering out at me instead. It was a young raccoon, and he was even more startled by me than I was at seeing him. It was the middle of the afternoon, for pete's sake! I quietly made my way down the little hill so that he could complete his journey over into the bushes next door.
Mr. Raccoon wasn't my only surprise. While clearing an area of particularly nasty weeds, I saw the bottom edge of this bottle poking out of the ground. I never in a million years expected it to be whole, but I dug it out and it was flawless! It even has some of the product left coating the inside of the bottle. It's "Esquire Lanol White" shoe polish, and it was marketed in the early 1950's. I have a fascination with old bottles, that I probably inherited from my father. I get so excited when I find them, and I have to research them and find out all about them. I start to wonder about the person who owned the bottle, and how it might have wound up where I found it. Considering my proximity to the Navy shipyard and the population of this area in the 50's, I'm guessing this bottle belonged to a Navy officer who needed to keep his uniform shoes spic n' span. What do you think? I think I'm going to go clean it up and put it on display.

Weeds and wildlife

We've been clearing out our backyard today, which is COMPLETELY covered in weeds, and debris from the pine trees. This wheelbarrow full is just the beginning.

Haleigh was "helping" until she started finding rolypolies. You might know them as pill bugs or sow bugs (although sow bugs are actually a different thing altogether). As one particular rolypoly was crawling around on her shirt, causing her to collapse into fits of giggles she started thinking out loud about him. I was still slaving away at the weeds but I couldn't help but overhear "this one must be a girl, because she sure likes my nail polish. Look at all the parts. Those legs tickle. Man, that's a lot of legs. Hey, mom, how many legs does a rolypoly have anyway?"

Well, I didn't know. So now that we're inside for lunch I thought I better take the chance to look it up. They have fourteen legs . . . . and they're not insects! They are crustaceans, like crabs and lobsters! Who knew?

Oh, what a beautiful mornin'

Oh, what a beautiful day! This was the setting for a picnic lunch with my daughter yesterday. It was the official first day of her summer vacation, so we celebrated "no school"! We got up and made cupcakes (then took them to my office for everyone else to eat because I have no willpower). We went to a local state park and enjoyed Haleigh's favorite Subway sandwiches.

We've been having extremely low tides around here for a few weeks, and yesterday was no exception with a -2 tide level, so we headed down to the beach to see what we could find.

One of the first things she came across was this jointed oyster shell that looked eerily like a whale. She proceeded to carry on an entire conversation with it. :-)

Neither of us could get over the giant patches of bright green shiny seaweed.

Just as I started to take this picture, she noticed something and was turning to tell me about it. You can see by her expression she was pretty amazed by it, and if you look out in front of her you might spot the bright splash of color that caught her attention.

Here's a close-up of what she found. She says it's a mama and her baby.

She found this giant purple thing wrapped around a rock. She loves purple.

After we finished turning over rocks and chasing all the crabs we could find, we climbed back up to the picnic area, and Haleigh found the perfect ending for her day.

I'm so glad summer is here. :-)

So, here's the thing

Things have been WEIRD around here lately. It's been a mixture of really awesome things mixed in with some really horrible ones, and I'm still reeling from all of it, along with all the people nearest and dearest to me.

I got the lead in a musical, then I had my appendix out in the middle of it. That part completely stunk, but I had one of the best times of my life and I made some really incredible friends. My daughter got bounced around a lot during this time since her dad was out of town, and I learned that she is really a pretty great kid who can adapt and go with the flow. She also doesn't think I'm the least cool mom in the world, and for that I am thankful.

My mother-in-law had to have surgery for some things that I'm sure she would rather not deal with . . . but it also meant she got a bonus visit with my hubby when he flew home to help her out a little. Let me tell you, that man does not fly to Georgia for just anything. His grandmother's 70th birthday last November was the first time he had been back to visit since we moved 6 years ago!

And most recently, my brother-in-law was lost to us. He was always a little lost to us, but his physical departure has ripped a hole in this little family that changes the reality of our daily lives. Where can I possibly find sunshine in this? Just go visit his mom over at Cedar Chest of Dreams. I am moved every day by her strength, and the beauty and discernment of her words. She is setting a stunning example to experience your pain, and grieve . . . but embrace the surprises and blessings that might come with it.

Do sheep count us?

The insomnia is back. Yuck. I have no idea what brought it on tonight, unless maybe it's a delayed response to many of the recent events in our lives. I always have a little trouble getting to sleep when my husband is not home, but it's been so long since I've had any problems with sleep that I just didn't see this one coming! I'm going to lay down and see what happens. Wish me luck. *yawn*

You know who you are

Somebody I know could probably use a smile tonight, and this is for you. Love, me.

Humor Me

I realize that Father's Day is over. I was just too busy enjoying one of the greatest fathers I've ever known to stop and blog about it, but I want to take a moment to recognize him now. About 7 1/2 years ago, our little girl arrived and made the man I married a very proud daddy. From the moment of her first breath, he has risen to the occasion and proved himself to be one fabulous father. He is a hands-on parent in every way, and I count my blessings every time I see the two of them together. He brings so much to her life, and she adores him. Can't you tell?


He had just gotten off the submarine at the end of his second patrol, and she was soooooo happy to see him. He still shares musical moments with her.

He took the time to read to her . . .



But it doesn't really matter what they are doing, this is one daddy who just likes hanging out with his little girl. Kite flying? Got it covered.



Time to master the big girl bike? He's your man.



We were camping recently, and on a quick hike Haleigh noticed all the trees that had fallen down around us. He took the time to show her how to figure out the tree's age.



He's a brilliant man, and I love him. I don't know how many times I've said "Let's ask your dad, I'm sure he'll know." He's taught her about lightning, satellites, planets, dinosaurs, letters and numbers, Axl Rose, Slash, and Stevie Wonder (because we want her to be a well-rounded child, after all).
Most importantly, he's taught her about love. There is no doubt in her mind that her daddy loves her with his whole heart, unconditionally. He is the example every daughter should have, and he teaches her so much. Plus, he's always up for playtime!!!



To my husband: I love you. You make me proud every day. :-)

A memory

My mother-in-law has a knack for finding great blogs. I think a lot of it is the fact that her writing just draws people in, so really cool folks drift her way. Occasionally, I browse through her blog roll to see who's who and visit those that look interesting. Greenish Lady caught my eye today, and she has posted about a cool project that a homeschooling mom has created to teach her children about the Holocaust. You can read about it here.

Her blog reminded me of a memorable encounter I had once, the fall after I got married. I was working at a restaurant that was right off an interstate exit, so we got travelers from all over! A lot of our visitors were older couples who were heading to Florida, either for a vacation or relocating.

One day, a sweet elderly lady and gentleman came in and ordered two buffet dinners. As he reached into his wallet to pay, I saw it - the identification tattoo on the inside of his lower arm. Without really thinking, I said "you're a survivor", and he looked back up at me. At first I wasn't sure if he heard me, or if I even should have said anything. But he said "you know, many people don't even know what that is from. Yes, I am a lucky one. I didn't get sent to the camp until right before they were liberated."

I showed him the gold-colored aluminum bracelet in my purse that had a name of a child who died at Auschwitz. Each cast member was given one when I performed in a play about the Holocaust, so that we could remember we portrayed real people, and take a moment to reflect on the tragedy of that time. It had been carried around in my purse for over two years.

They ate and paid and went on their way. I hope they found sunshine and happiness wherever they were headed, and I am thankful that I got to meet them.

For Ms. Robbin

"I know God will not give me anything that I can't handle.

I just wish he didn't trust me so much."

- Mother Teresa

"This is my simple religion.

There is no need for temples;

no need for complicated philosophy.

Our own brain, our own heart is our temple;

the philosophy is kindness."

- His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

I have finally finished the book, Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. There were parts that were a little "out there", but even those made me think. Most of all, it piqued my interest in new topics and made me want to learn more. The author uses this quote to introduce one section of the book, and I loved it so much I just wanted to share.

It was a blustery day . . .

Man, is it windy here! We've had some limbs falling across the street and the power is flickering. I thought I should tear myself away from the incredible book I'm reading and blog before I lose the chance.
Nothing much to report, just settling back into our routines. Haleigh's class has been doing dinosaur research, and the culmination of all that happens this Friday in The Big Dinosaur Dig! I'm so excited. I'm going to volunteer to help run a "station", and I can't wait. Her teacher said they really go all out with this project to reward the students for the hard work they put into their reports. Stay tuned for details!
This weekend I got the grim news from my doctor's office that my cholesterol is even higher than last year. The "bad" stuff is badder, the "good" stuff isn't any gooder, and the overall number is rather inflated. Yes, I could do a little better in the diet area. BUT, I have been significantly more active in the last year than I have in the past ten years, my diet isn't awful, I'm still in my 20's and not overweight at all. The thing is, my father had a heart attack in his very early 50's from the very same problem. My brother, in his mid-30's, already has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and gout. He is also a very physically fit Air Force fireman. Now, his diet can be questioned (good ol' southern boy who loves to cook), but it really isn't the only culprit. I detect a certain family trend.
So what does this mean for me? If we're being honest, high cholesterol and heart problems, etc. all still seem so foreign to me . . . a distant problem that doesn't have a "right now" affect on me - unless you tell me I can no longer eat cheesecake or baked brie with pepper jelly. Please, for the love of all things HOLY, let me have my cheesecake and brie. I will alter whatever else needs altering. Just today, I swore off bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuits and bought myself some new cereal called Kashi. Are you familiar with it? There are moments when it is a bit like chewing tree bark, but the taste isn't really that bad, and there's a version with flaxseed now (which we all know is fabulous for cholesterol issues). I'm going to give it a whirl, and chat with my doctor this week to see what else needs to be done. I'm avoiding medication like the plague, so wish me luck as I do battle with my blood fats.
Now, remember that book I mentioned? It's painful to even be separated from it - it's that good. I'll probably be up way later than I ought to be, and I'll blame it on my mother-in-law who always shares the good ones. I hope you are all having a wonderful night.

Returning to "normal", if there is such a thing

We've been back in Washington collectively since Wednesday night. I arrived home with Haleigh in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, she went to school, then we had to pick her Daddy up when she got out. We literally flew right back into things, having to drive straight back from the airport to a meeting at the school she will be attending next year. We then had to grab some dinner and pick up our dogs who had been enjoying a week-long playdate waaaaay out in the country. It occurred to my husband that there was no way he was going to be able to work the next day, so we stopped by the station on the way home and he arranged for one more day off. Yesterday he went back to work for the first time since getting the phone call exactly two weeks before that his brother was gone. I don't think his heart was in it. And I don't know how to help.

Time, I think, is going to be a friend to this family. In the face of such tragedy, I've been amazed at the beauty that has appeared. My mother-in-law has a strength of character that is rare to find. She writes from the very depths of her soul and it is cathartic for her. I am grateful for her words because they comfort me, too.

We have re-welcomed a special little girl into our lives that we have all missed so much, and that has brought healing.

I've watched my husband and his mother share a time of grieving and an overwhelming love, and it has reminded me of the things that are most important in life.

We looked for, and quite literally found silver-lined clouds.

Good night, Uncle Jonathan

Last night was a classic south Georgia night - heat lightening flashing all around us, thunder rumbling off in the distance, and hot humid air so still and thick you could slice right through it. We were all sitting around outside visiting, anxious for any little breeze that might come our way. This has become our tradition since we arrived in Georgia. The visitors have all gone to their own homes now, leaving myself, my daughter, my husband, his mother, and his grandparents here. We find ourselves outside most of the time, even with this oppressive heat, because I think we are all searching for some peace. We'll take every little bit we can get, and peace seems to come from the outdoors these days.
Last night, my daughter disappeared for a few minutes and returned with the pink balloon she got at lunch and something tied to the bottom of it. It was a piece of tissue, and she had written her Uncle Jonathan a note. She said she wanted to tell him goodnight, so she was sending it up to him. The balloon had lost most of its helium, and we were so worried it wouldn't go. She walked around looking for the perfect spot, then turned it loose. There was absolutely no wind, but that balloon took off. It disappeared so quickly.
Several hours later, we were heading to bed. She had been asleep for a while, and my husband and I were walking a few yards away from where the balloon was released. Out of nowhere, it reappeared and smacked him in the head. Classic Jonathan. You can't tell me he didn't get that note and use the balloon to mess with his brother one more time.
Wherever you are Jonathan, I hope you're happy. You are missed, and we love you. And we heard you loud and clear. :-)